The Doctor with the White Steth

With a simple smile, one can create hopes and dreams. I smiled at a total stranger and she smiled back. I thought that perhaps smile is all one needs to begin new hopes and dreams. May be that is the secret ingredient to happiness and love. May be I would  never be able to talk to her. But It did give me the inspiration to write on this blog. An inspiration which is very hard to find these days. Its my nature that I cant stay away from hope.A song or a smile, Hope is all I need right now. But I am not sure how long I will be able to survive like this. But unless, I see some real results I can only rely on hope and prayers.

People are in their best behavior in front of others. That is no Hidden secret about that. Whether it is Twitter or Facebook, everyone is trying to be something which they want to be or should be. But to tell you the truth, I am in love with the fact that everyone in some way or the other are full of fear. They are all afraid.Hiding behind their Masks. Hiding behind their secrets. Hiding behind their weakness and then revealing these to some. The dynamics of the few relationships are above my scope of understanding. How can people think that they can cure loneliness by surrounding themselves with people they can trust?! They want to feel secure and safe but in the end it will bring them more loneliness and frustration because at some point or the other they are going to be leave them or one is bound to face the challenges alone! Yes It does make it easier! No doubt about that! 

Back in USA. Loving the time here. Dont want to go back to Pakistan!! I hate the summers in Pakistan. It is so hot there and then there is no electricity! This trip was good. I have solved some of the unanswered questions which were haunting me for the past 6 months. I am relieved and happy! :)

I dont know what to write any more. Ok! Let me try something. For the past 8-9 months, I have been working on my step 1. I never thought that it would suck away the life out of me! Well! I am fine with the fact that that I am working on something. I am struggling with this challenge. Its hard. It seems impossible. The bar has been set very high. Fears, Loss, Pain and Hatred is everything I feel right now! I almost experienced everything except love. This is a goal for which I have sacrificed a lot. I expect the worst and I am trying to prepare for it. Right now, I can only pray! That is all I can do. I cant study any more. I am tired and exhausted.

Happy new year. I got so busy in my studies that I entirely forgot about writing this blog. 2011 was a good year for me. It gave me a lot of opportunities and I thank God for providing everything to me. I can't imagine a single day without God. I can't imagine my life without God. Thank you for everything.    I have seen people. I hurt someone I really respect. I decided never to do that ever again. He deserves a lot of my respect....I was never a honest person. I lied to a lot of people. I will try to change that. And Yes I am looking for new friends. Really good one!! Most importantly I want to get done with my USMLE exams in 2012. Hopefully by the end of this year InshaALLAH! Need a lot of prayers. To all my readers out there, please try to leave an comment or something. It would help motivating me. Thank you.

Unless I find a way to channelize all my energy, I will not settle down. A desire to be better and a passion to create my own way drives my day. A hope!! Now, I just need luck on my side and things will be fine!! IA! Tell you something interesting... There are people I know who would contact me only when they want something. There are people who text me with questions related to their studies and other stuff. When I answer them,they don't even reply back with a thank you(this is just mean..don't you think!?). I didn't know that people can be so mean and selfish sometimes. First, I tried to ignore it. But it  is really giving me the feeling that some people are so self absorbed with their own lives that they don't care about the people they use. It's all about them. They want people to talk about them. They want people to care about them. They seek attention. But let me tell you something, you don't get something which you are not able to give it to others. It...

Even my dreams are getting realistic. I used to be a crazy dreamer. I used to dream about things I can never Have. I used to make up fictional characters and live their lives in my head. I still do that at times but deep down inside I know that I wont be able to achieve those dreams or live their lives.