The Doctor with the White Steth

The problem is that I really do not understand everything. Why would they think that a particular field is better for me when I clearly have no idea about it ? On the other hand, I have no idea about the other field. Then again, Beggars can't be chooser. I have the credentials which suits the less competitive field. And Am I willing to waste so many years trying to get into a field in which I have small experience. Should I blindly take the path which is easier than the other path? Then again, my own ego would never allow me to rest in peace, if I go into the less competitive field. My own ego would always push me to achieve a different goal. Or will I be satisfied with my life? Am I willing to go back to my homeland, and start everything from scratch. Why would God want me to take this journey? Should I go back without even trying to find the shore! So many questions! 

Long time since we talked...... So, I cleared my step 2 CK and CS exam. I scored 231 in CK. Al though not a great score to cover my CS attempt, but I am hopeful that I will match this year. I have applied in lots of programs. Hopefully someone somewhere may realize that we are more than just scores . Well, I started contacting a lot of my friends and colleagues to help me with an interview call. I am also seeking help from strangers. Al though, I find this practise futile and useless. And to be very honest, they are reluctant to help me because I do not have the credentials. It is neither their fault nor mine, I can understand how problematic it could be for them. Interestingly, one of my friends told me that you can email the program director and tell him that you are my class fellow and you have heard great things about the program. CS is an exam which is totally unpredictable. Anything can happen to anyone. I may not be the brightest student or I may not have best of luck with me...

I took NBME 2 Online and scored 225. My target was to score more than at least 235. Now I have decided to postpone my exam and take it on 25th April In Shaa Allah! Now I am gona complete uworld for the third time and try to remember stuff from it.  Hopefully I will be doing 100-200 Questions daily! Hoping to score great on step 2 CK ! 

Okay I am trying to sleep but I just quit trying and I had a mini toblerone. After 17 days, I will appear for my step 2 CK. Yes! I am pretty anxious about it and I am trying to become a morning person so that I can do okay on the test day. But it seems impossible. It is around 4;00am in the morning and I was trying to sleep. Tonight, the reason that I am more anxious is that I am going to take my NBME 2 online today. So, I'm pretty worried about my scores. Good scores will provide me with some kind of relief but I have decided to take the exam on April 17th no matter how well I do on the NBME. Inshaa Allah I will take it on 17th April. I don't want to delay it any further. It has been affecting my overall health and I have been sacrificing a lot on CK. I think ALLAH will help me achieve my purpose. I have full faith and confidence in GOD! For those people who are reading this, I want you guys to specially pray for me. I need your prayers and best wishes. I will try t update m...

Even in the sea of lost desires and dreams, I am holding onto faith and God. All I can do is to spread Goodness and Kindness around. It actually helps to cope with the enormous challenges I face every day. And Kindness is contagious. Al though I am doing it for selfish reasons but I am happy that It is making me happy!