Not today!

Why didn't she fight for us? Wasn't I a good friend to her? I did everything for her and supported her through out. I do not expect her to reciprocate these things but I expect her to be a good friend and end things well with me. She owes that much to me.... At least, that is what I thought.

The flash backs that I have about us are enough to pull me into a spiral of constant negative self talk for at least a day. Every day without her was a challenge at the start but the healing process has probably started. However, there are some bad days like today when I am reminded that she exist. On days like today, I wish that she will reach out to me and make things right between us...However, It is not right that I am still expecting her to reach out to me to make things right between us. I know for a fact that no matter what she will say she can not fix anything. Then expecting anything from her is just idiotic. 

Realizing that people especially good people in your life can leave without any explanations. Obviously, you expect good things from people who are your friends and family. Keeping your expectations low but giving the best to them is something very hard to achieve. We are all human and getting hurt is normal. Accepting that you will get hurt by someone you love is very hard. It does not mean that you stop loving that person or you stop loving people altogether. That person may not be able to return your love but trust me it will come back to you in a different shape.

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