The Doctor with the White Steth

 I am living with very small no. of certainties. I am lost. I am fighting for every day and hoping that my next day will be better than my previous day. Every day is the same. A big Constant!

This post is for the anonymous person who posted a comment on one of the post I made 6 months back. I may have a clue who you are! Thank you for your honest feedback . I have deleted that post . That is a small step in making amends. It is extremely important for you to know that I respect you and I should not have written those words. And I think you were right back then and I realized my mistake at the moment you commented on it. I am not proud of it but I was way too worried about hurting people. My apologies!!! I hope you read this and I pray that you forgive me!

I feel like talking to you guys today. I think it has been a long time since I actually talked to you. My goals are changing and I have been thinking about life more seriously. My goals have the capacity to drive me mad. My goals have the capacity to destroy my personal life. At times, I doubt that my goals will not make me happy in the end. Money and Desire will not serve me well in the end. It will be a storm of agony and pain because the real world is a scary place. Today I saw a movie called Flipped. It is a movie about two teenagers. It just simply made me sad. Is my professional life making it harder for me to actually sacrifice a lot of my desires? Are my goals really worth losing my family and friends? At this point of my life, I am standing no where. I have the whole sea in front of me. I took up a path and a really difficult one. I am in the middle of no where now. I can not go back.. Every day I wake up in the morning and think about the future. Then I distract myself wit...

What a poor state of health in our Pakistan!!  We need to spend a lot more on health. In 2010, the infant(child younger than 1 year) is 70 according to UNICEF and 77 in Punjab according to the Punjab Health Department. There are only 37,272 for a population of above 81 Million with 70 percent living in the rural areas. We don't even have a current data on Health. Many doctors are migrating to other countries because of the poor working environment in the hospitals. Nobody seems to care about the health in this province. The journalists are busy in calling doctors as robbers and thieves. The Govt. has decided to use all of its strength to crack down on the doctors demanding their rights. The situation is getting worse and worse. The health department of Punjab is being run by politicians rather than professionals. What is happening here?! Can we not renovate Mayo and Ganga Raam instead of building bridges for Lahore?! A point to ponder! Following the sources of this information. Do...

Ramadan comes to an end. 30 days of muslim fasting ends with celebratory day. "Eid ul Fitr". I think I will miss Ramadan and fasting. Well I have done some reading on MSNBC blogs and read anti-muslim comments.I read those comments and I was amazed at the people writing those comments. They were quoting Quran out of context. Some even called Quran boring(not that I have problem with what he feels. But Dude dont expect nude pictures in the Holy Book). One person called Pakistanis, Arabs and Camel Jockey(although there are few deserts in Pakistan but we are not an Arab country). Then another Indian guy proposed that Muslims should live in Pakistan and Hindus should live in India(I do believe that some individuals have border line personality disorder and see everything in black and white). Then there is another guy who says that Muhammad PBUH attacked Meccan Army of 300 in the Battle of the Badar( that is not even historically correct). Then comes the Atheist and he says, ...

I don't want to waste my time arguing with someone who is so full of hate on religious matters on Facebook, Twitter and other websites. It is just time consuming and eventually everyone is hiding behind their computers screen saying horrific things about religion in general and Islam in particular. There are a common misunderstandings about Islam in many people. I would try to address few in simple Q and A type format on this post. I am doing this because I hope somebody would click this and I will be able to at least fulfill my duty to spread some of the facts about Islam during Ramadan.. Who is ALLAH?  Allah is not a Moon God. Allah is an Arabic word used for the God(the force controlling this universe). According to Islam, He is the God of Adam, Noah, Moses, Jesus , Muhammad and other Prophets (Peace be Upon them) Who is Jesus?  He is the Prophet of God Al mighty. If a Muslim does not believe in Jesus, he is not a Muslim. Al though Muslims do not consider him the So...

I wish I would have something nicer to write here.

With a simple smile, one can create hopes and dreams. I smiled at a total stranger and she smiled back. I thought that perhaps smile is all one needs to begin new hopes and dreams. May be that is the secret ingredient to happiness and love. May be I would  never be able to talk to her. But It did give me the inspiration to write on this blog. An inspiration which is very hard to find these days. Its my nature that I cant stay away from hope.A song or a smile, Hope is all I need right now. But I am not sure how long I will be able to survive like this. But unless, I see some real results I can only rely on hope and prayers.

People are in their best behavior in front of others. That is no Hidden secret about that. Whether it is Twitter or Facebook, everyone is trying to be something which they want to be or should be. But to tell you the truth, I am in love with the fact that everyone in some way or the other are full of fear. They are all afraid.Hiding behind their Masks. Hiding behind their secrets. Hiding behind their weakness and then revealing these to some. The dynamics of the few relationships are above my scope of understanding. How can people think that they can cure loneliness by surrounding themselves with people they can trust?! They want to feel secure and safe but in the end it will bring them more loneliness and frustration because at some point or the other they are going to be leave them or one is bound to face the challenges alone! Yes It does make it easier! No doubt about that! 

Back in USA. Loving the time here. Dont want to go back to Pakistan!! I hate the summers in Pakistan. It is so hot there and then there is no electricity! This trip was good. I have solved some of the unanswered questions which were haunting me for the past 6 months. I am relieved and happy! :)

I dont know what to write any more. Ok! Let me try something. For the past 8-9 months, I have been working on my step 1. I never thought that it would suck away the life out of me! Well! I am fine with the fact that that I am working on something. I am struggling with this challenge. Its hard. It seems impossible. The bar has been set very high. Fears, Loss, Pain and Hatred is everything I feel right now! I almost experienced everything except love. This is a goal for which I have sacrificed a lot. I expect the worst and I am trying to prepare for it. Right now, I can only pray! That is all I can do. I cant study any more. I am tired and exhausted.